Discipline is a Form of Love!

Disciplining your child can be difficult, but it is an imperative part of parenting.  It teaches your child self-control, responsibility, accountability, and a value system they will use for life.  Discipline is a form of love.
 
Parents establish and enforce rules so their children can learn to get along with others, to teach them to make the right choices, and to protect them from harm.  Children raised without reasonable limits will have difficulty adapting socially. When in an environment where parents are always trying to please the child, we feed into a sense of entitlement and raise ungrateful kids and adults.

 

Positive Reinforcement and Consequences 

You can use positive reinforcement and consequences to change your child’s behavior and habits.   By using consequences and reinforcement effectively, you can raise your children into adults who exhibit traits such as gratefulness, respect, responsibility, integrity, work ethic, kindness, and the ability to get along with others.

Consequences 

Teach your child that there will be consequences for undesirable behavior. If you are consistent, this will teach your child to think about the choices they make in the future.  Here are some examples of consequences.

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Practice Desired Behaviors

Children learn best through practice—just like learning a new skill. Start by talking with your child about the behavior you want to see and why it matters.

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Choose a time to practice during your child’s playtime or free time. This helps them understand that when a behavior needs extra practice, we pause other activities to work on it. Practicing during free time sends the message that learning expected behaviors is important and that making good choices comes before play.

 

Let your child know you are there to help. You might say, “It looks like this is something you need more practice with. I’ll show you, and then you can try.”

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Examples:

• If your child struggles with listening and following directions, practice by giving short, simple directions and letting your child practice following them.

• If your child is having tantrums, practice calm-down strategies ahead of time—such as taking deep breaths, using words to express feelings, or asking for help—so they know what to do when they feel upset.

• If your child is being rude and disrespectful, have your child practice saying the same message using a calm voice and respectful words.   You can role play different scenarios.  

 

Practicing helps children build skills —and because playtime is paused for practice, children often become more motivated to use the desired behavior the next time.

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Time Out

Placing your child in time out will give them time to think about their actions and identify better choices.  A basic recommendation used by some is that a child should be in time out for one minute for each year of their age.

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Natural Consequences

Natural consequences happen naturally.  If your child refuses to wear a coat when it is raining, then they will get wet.  Natural consequences are especially effective because it is a direct consequence of the choice made by your child and doesn’t need to be enforced by a parent.  Another example is leaving something special outside, and it gets ruined or stolen.

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Logical Consequences

Logical consequences are directly related to the misbehavior.  If your child mistreats a toy, the toy would be taken away. Usually the adult will give the child a choice.  For example, treat the toys with care or the toy will be taken away.

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Ignoring

If your child exhibits attention-seeking behavior, it may work to ignore the behavior.   You may need to make sure you are giving them attention when they are exhibit the right behavior.  It is important to make sure they are getting enough attention, and we provide ideas for family fun (even ideas that only take 10 minutes).

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Loss of privilege

Taking away privileges for a period of time.  Give the child the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and earn back their privilege.

 
Consequences help to teach your children the desired behaviors and change their habits. 

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Positive Reinforcement

You can provide positive reinforcement by letting your child know that you notice them making good choices. The character charts are an effective tool to give your child positive attention and praise, while reinforcing the behaviors and character traits you want them to learn. 

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By using consequences and positive reinforcement effectively, you can raise your children into adults who exhibit traits such as gratefulness, respect, responsibility, integrity, work ethic, kindness, and the ability to get along with others.

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Begin providing positive reinforcement now and help your kids build social skills and character for life!